


Promise

by outrodionysos



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, hongjoong needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 13:17:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21100094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outrodionysos/pseuds/outrodionysos
Summary: It wasn't as if Hongjoong didn't know being a leader meant having a lot of responsibilities or pressure. He just didn't think the pressure would be so hard to deal with.





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story so please nice shjs hope you enjoy!

It wasn't as if Hongjoong didn't know being a leader meant having a lot of responsibilities or pressure. He just didn't think the pressure would be so hard to deal with.

It began with their manager reminding him that he was the one responsible for their groups image in interviews. It began with the media belittling and questioning his leadership, since he is not even the oldest out of the eight of them. But he could take it, because he _knows_ he's succeeding and he knows it's all because of his hard work that is now finally paying off.  
_But why doesn't it feel like that?_

He's briefly reminded of what Seonghwa, the oldest of the group, once said to him. Something about how it is alright to show weakness because showing strength all the time would be forced.  
_It isn't alright, hwa. If_ I _show weakness no one will take me serious_, he thought to himself as he began to pace in his room. 

Some of the members were currently watching a movie in the living room, while others were outside, enjoying their free day. Free days became a rarity, too. He knew that, of course, but the stress was slowly getting at him, eating him alive. 

The pacing stopped and Hongjoong sat down on his bed, his knees pulled up to his chest while he rested his head in between them. He didn't want to burden the other members, so he told them a while ago he was going to sleep.   
_Funny, when was the last time I had a proper sleep? I can't show weakness in front of the others, they'll pity me._

He didn't register the knocking on his door, neither the person entering his room and sitting down next to him.

"Hey Joong, what's wrong?" Seonghwa's soft voice broke through his thoughts and he barely noticed the concerned glint in his eyes.

He couldn't even bring himself to form any coherent words right now, it was just all too much and Seonghwa _really_ wasn't supposed to be here now.

"Don't cry, please" The older reached out to wipe a fresh tear away while Hongjoong just stared him.   
_When did I start crying? Stop crying_.

"Why are you here?" His voice was barely audible and slightly cracked but Seonghwa just put an arm around him and hugged him tight.

"Why would Kim Hongjoong go to sleep at a reasonable time? It just didn't add up." The younger gave a short laugh before letting his head fall back down onto his knees.

"I just needed to be alone for a while, that's all." Seonghwa gave him a look and sighed.

"I'm not going to force you to talk to me but I can see that you're not fine and it hurts my heart that you're going through this alone.” 

The younger sniffled and Seonghwa could feel his heart break. He slowly looked up at him and broke.   
_I can't take this anymore. _

"It just all became too much," Seonghwa held him tighter and rubbed comforting circles onto his back. He'll let the younger talk and get it all out, god knows how long that was due for.

"F-first the manager, then the press and then all those people who expect me to be flawless. As if I'm not allowed to do mistakes. As if I'm responsible for everything and everyone. As if I'm not so messed up myself, how am I supposed to take care of you guys when I can't even take care of myself?" He sobbed into the older's shoulder and couldn't believe how _good_ it felt to let everything loose and just talk about it.

"I guess the pressure just became too much, especially now that award shows are nearing. I just don't feel like I'm worth it all, you know." He mumbled and closed his eyes. Hongjoong's face was tear streaked, his eyes bloodshot and he felt exhausted.

"No, I don't know." Seonghwa had that stubborn look in his eyes and he made sure that Hongjoong didn't break eye contact.

"You're the most amazing person I have ever met. No one, not a single person is stronger than you are, Hongjoong." The younger began to shake his head but Seonghwa wouldn't let that happen.

"Yes, you are! No matter what you might think, you are way stronger than what you give yourself credit for and if only I could've been half as strong as you are that would still be so much strenght, I didn't even know where to begin to put it in use." Hongjoong cracked a small smile but Seonghwa wasn't finished yet.

"You're the best leader we all could've ever asked for. You help us all through so many hardships, let us be there for yours as well." He took the younger's hand in his and pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"But what if I'm not good enough."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement and Seonghwa didn't think his chest could ache so much from just seeing the young leader in so much doubt.

"But what if you are. What if you're the best leader the world has ever seen."

Hongjoong didn't know how to respond to that, so he lied down and hugged the other tightly.

"Thank you so much for being here with me, Seonghwa. I love you." They've said it a lot but he knows it's meant differently right now.

"I love you, too, so much."

With that he kissed the younger's forehead and played with his hair.

"I'm sorry for burdening you though."

"It's alright to show weakness, it makes you humane. And I think I'd be more worried about you pretending to be fine all the time." Hongjoong smiled slightly and nuzzled his head deeper into the others shoulder.

"Just- please promise me you'll talk to someone the next time you feel down. It's really not healthy to keep everything bottled up and we all care so much about you, you'll never be a burden to us”

"I promise."

With that, they both slowly fell asleep with soft smiles adorning their faces and still very much holding onto each other.


End file.
